Nana Gyesie – dad of three, street photographer and leadership development expert. He’s also an early supporter of our community. We talked with Nana about fatherhood. He shared some great aspirations and insights with us in a video interview. Stay tuned for more content from our conversation with Nana Gyesie!
What does it mean to be a dad?
“I think my first inspiration is that, like my children, all three of them are filled with love for themselves. First, they know that they have love for themselves, which means they have love for other people. With that kind of love comes wisdom, which they can use to not limit themselves, but live to their full potential.
You want to be a painter? A goal? Nothing should stop you. You want to be a photographer? A girl? You want to be a CEO? Go for it! There are no limitations, no complexes holding them back. They are free in their understanding of the world and have no limitations. So, I don’t want to put my limitations on them. Know that they should see possibility in this new world, this Aquarian age, this new one, the future of work with AI and machine learning. They still have this, and I think okay by the grace of God, I did my job. This is the vision, this is the aspiration”
What changed in your life ?
“I remember it was winter when I was going to work. I got out of the Subway and my wife from that time called me crying. She said “I’m pregnant”, and immediately something shifted inside me. I said “Don’t worry.”
We’re going to keep the baby and we’ll be fine. Meanwhile, we didn’t have any plans to have children at that time, but I thought that an immediate change and what it meant was that I became very responsible quickly because I wanted to create a good environment for my new child, my new son, my new babies. And also, I never want them to feel like they don’t have anyone to turn to, so I’m like a shepherd right now and always having discussions with them about their perspectives about the world and their assumptions. I think that when we say we want world peace.
World peace starts with you and your family. The thing that changed for me is that I realized that if I want to see change in the world, I have to start with my family and myself. It’s a big shift, but also realizing that the things I do or don’t do can affect my children. If I don’t want them to go to therapy in the future, I have to work on myself right now.
If I don’t want to be the reason why they go to therapy because they’re screwed up because of some mistakes or air assignment, I have to work on myself so that I am a good example for myself right now. Then they see that example, and they’re like, “I can be better, right?” So they don’t break the cycle of goodness. They continue a good cycle of programming and break the cycle of bad programming, or bad behavior.
Biological and physiological changes occur when you’re able to become a parent, and even as an animal. Something will change – the woman will go through changes, and the same thing happens to the man. They’ll feel like, “oh my goodness, I have to go out and hunt for more meat” right? So you start feeling the pressure a little bit – That’s the first indication that you’re like, “I cannot be a child anymore because now I have a child.” So that’s the physiological change.And then you have to decide how you process it. You can say “no, no, no, no,” I’m not ready. And then you don’t feel anything. Exactly. You don’t feel anything. You’re like, “I don’t know. I don’t know about that.”
This is going to be the biggest test of your life – in a good way. It’s the biggest test – it’s a beautiful test, but it’s the biggest test. If you’re going to be a conscious parent like you guys are doing great, you guys are promoting, you’re going to be a conscious father – not an accidental or situational father. Right, so like my brother says, I eat the milk and change the diaper. You know, I carry it to the school and feed it, but how do you do that? Then you have to maintain doing that, which is not easy. Many a parent has a good relationship with their child or children, so if you want to do it the right way, I think you have to mature and achieve maturity, which is very difficult.”
Did your relationship change with your partner?
Nana: “Accountability, responsibility, and maturity are really hard, so I understand when people struggle with being a father or becoming one because it’s not easy right. It always will be right, and especially if you’re not conscious of what you’re doing wrong, you can become very distant from your partner or resentful because you’re changing too many diapers. Who is changing the diaper? I don’t know. Nobody said thank you. I’m tired. I’m sleeping the baby.Good, who’s in the bed?
Don’t touch me, yeah. If you’re not conscious, you’re not any little thing. You can mestasticize and so this is an opportunity for more frequent communication. You have to speak what you want and ask for what you want. Be supportive, you know. Be very humble more and one of the most powerful things about being a father is that you have to forgive a minimum of 43 times a day. This is aspirational, of course, but if you think about what that means, if you want to be a father in this 21st century it’s different from being a father in the 2000s or from the 90s or from the 80s from the 70s.”